Been in a hole. Life crapped on me so I thought I’d crap on everyone else including myself (lol the crapping analogy sucks I apologize). I took a break from everyone and everything and I feel a little normal today. I’m not quite out of my hole but the sunlight has reached me within it. I’ve lost touch with who I am and this also ends now. I’m planning a looong overdue solo weekend of pampering praying and reading in banff, no technology whatsoever it’ll be amazing and I know ill come back a better person. I have to do LISTS and I plan on knocking every single item on them off. I have half read books that I need to finish. I have to start working out and eating regularly again so I can love my body once again. I have broken and unhealthy relationships that I need to mend…or end depending on the will of God. I have people to love. I have people who want to love me. I have job experiences to gain just because. I have people to meet. I have places in the world that I still need to visit. I have ME to work on and turn into whatever I choose. I have air in my lungs. Basically I have a lot of things out there that I still need to live for… And the fact that I had lost touch of that really shows how deep of a hole it really is. Greater than that fact is the fact that my God is gooood for opening my eyes to all of this once again. Above everything I have my God to live for and a journey to walk with him and that softens my hardened heart.