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Last night, our choir sang at an annual revival in our community… It’s an awesome, memorable experience, and the revivalist (who has been the same for as long as I can remember) always has a dynamic message… Last night, He talked on the simple subject of trust in the Lord! Here were my highlights…
Been in a hole. Life crapped on me so I thought I’d crap on everyone else including myself (lol the crapping analogy sucks I apologize). I took a break from everyone and everything and I feel a little normal today. I’m not quite out of my hole but the sunlight has reached me within it. I’ve lost touch with who I am and this also ends now. I’m planning a looong overdue solo weekend of pampering praying and reading in banff, no technology whatsoever it’ll be amazing and I know ill come back a better person. I have to do LISTS and I plan on knocking every single item on them off. I have half read books that I need to finish. I have to start working out and eating regularly again so I can love my body once again. I have broken and unhealthy relationships that I need to mend…or end depending on the will of God. I have people to love. I have people who want to love me. I have job experiences to gain just because. I have people to meet. I have places in the world that I still need to visit. I have ME to work on and turn into whatever I choose. I have air in my lungs. Basically I have a lot of things out there that I still need to live for… And the fact that I had lost touch of that really shows how deep of a hole it really is. Greater than that fact is the fact that my God is gooood for opening my eyes to all of this once again. Above everything I have my God to live for and a journey to walk with him and that softens my hardened heart.
I really haven’t been on here in a while… And its not even like I have nothing to say I have endless things I want to express through writing (reason why I made the account) but its just so much and has been piling up for so long that I don’t even know where to start :S. but this ends now. I need a healthy outlet for my anger (and boy am I angry) so ill start posting more.
"Some will say, ‘If God is all powerful, and He says its mine, then why do I not have it?’ Air is ours too, but is we refuse to accept it or use it, we will die. Many people are dead spiritually, because, they refuse to believe what they cannot see or relate to with their senses."
Quote from the book Mystery of ages by pastors Mel & Donna Bond.
I’m not done reading it yet but I just read this part and was absolutely blessed by it. I had to post it in hopes that whoever reads this is just as or even more blessed by it. God loves you. Live by faith.
1000 pounds; turning you into the strong-man whose strength lies in the ability to keep face. You carry that weight; impalpable yet completely palpable- its transdimensional. Its the weight on your soul, the pain in your heart and still has a toll on your body. Unbearable, furthered by the fact that the things you keep secret don’t have to be secret. You just lack the ability to express. A lack that carries deep for its mission is to indoctrinate your thoughts turning pages of words that should be spoken into a closed book of secrets. A circle so vicious it triggers a deep anger which just like other internal on-goings lacks the ability to fulfill its call for expression. Adding only to the weight, the pain and the physical strain. “Rien ne pèse tant qu’un secret”. Nothing weighs more than a secret they say but what is there to be said about the weight of carrying things that are merely masquerading as secrets.